Welcome to our lesson on Modeling
- In this section, you will learn
- What modeling is
- Why modeling is important
- How to use modeling to improve behaviors
modeling overview
What is modeling?
- Doing the things you want your child to do.
- Showing good behaviors so your child can see how to do them.
- Using good language and communication so that your child can follow your example.
- Demonstrating actions and activities that you want your child to learn.
Modeling is most useful when you talk about what you are doing.
WHAT DOES MODELING LOOK LIKE?
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Caregiver drops a glass and breaks it. They say, “That was upsetting. I am going to take a deep breath to calm down before I safely clean it up so nobody gets hurt.” Caregiver takes a deep breath, then cleans up the glass safely.
During play, the child wants the toy that the caregiver has. Caregiver says, “I would love to share my toys with you. When I am done with this toy, I will pass it to you. Okay, your turn now! Thank you for taking turns with me!”
Caregiver models manners and PRIDE throughout the day. For example, “Thank you for making this wonderful meal for us!” “May I please have a glass of water?” “You made a beautiful picture. Thank you for sharing it with us.”
Caregiver models brushing teeth, washing hands, and remembering to take a bath or shower, even when they don’t feel like it. “I’m very tired tonight, but I am going to brush my teeth anyway. I know that keeps my teeth healthy and my breath smelling good!”
Modeling live in action
Why is modeling important?
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The best way to learn anything is by seeing someone else do it first! This is especially true for children, who are still learning everything about people and the world.
Manners, hygiene, and good communication are all things we learn over time. Children can learn these things much more quickly if they see people they love and respect doing these things, too.
It’s important for children to see how their caregivers manage their feelings and make good choices. Without a model, they won’t know what to do with their feelings. They’ll be more likely to tantrum and get overwhelmed.
Children need to learn what to do in difficult situations. Caregivers can model skills like calming, talking about feelings, asking for help, and leaving when things are not safe. This shows children what to do in these situations and throughout their lives.
Talk to your child about what you are doing and why. Your child will be more likely to do the same when they are in similar situations.
When and how should I model?
Learn how modeling can be used by selecting a specific difficult behavior below.
More: Learn how modeling can be used by selecting a specific positive behavior/goal below.
Pay attention to how you model
What you model matters! Click below to read more:
- Criticism
- Sarcasm
- Yelling
- Aggression
- Lying
- Defensiveness
- Anything you don’t want your child to do
- Manners words like “please,” “excuse me,” and “thank you.”
- Talking about feelings. For example, “I’m feeling happy,” “I’m having so much fun playing with you,” or “I’m feeling sad right now.”
- Good apologies, like as “I’m sorry for hurting your feelings” or “I am sorry I was late to your game.”
- Good communication. For example, “I am going to pick you up from school at 3:00PM by the school sign. I will wait for ten minutes. If I don’t see you, I will move to the parking lot.”
- Setting boundaries. For example, “I would love to hear your story, but right now I am writing an email for work. I am going to close my office door for twenty minutes. After that, I will open the door. Then you can come in and I will happily listen to your story!”
Caregiver Voices
Other caregivers share how they use modeling at home:
“They do know what gentle means now because we […] modeled it for them. So [with] modeling the behavior of how to hold the geckos, they’re doing so much better with that.”
“He started mimicking me and copying what I was doing, and that helped in all areas. It helped with cleanup. When we would start doing cleanup, it was, ‘watch mama Shelly put the blocks in the basket. Now you do.’ And then he was able to just completely copy it and it just transferred to so many different areas. Just in daily life, and made it so much nicer.”
How would you model?
Question #1
Your child is cleaning up their toys but throws them roughly into the toy box. How can you get them to clean up their toys gently?
Question #2
You tell your child to wash their hands before dinner. You hear the water turn on for a few seconds, then off. Your child comes in shaking their wet hands in the air. How can you get your child to wash their hands better?
Question #3
You get a call from school that your child hit another child. The child was trying to borrow your child’s pencil. What is one way you could teach your child to better handle the situation?
Ideas for fun activities
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This can be played with just your child or multiple children. First, put on a fun song. Then choose one person to be “The Cat.” Everyone else is “The Copycats.” The Cat does a pose or a dance. Then the Copycats imitate what the Cat did exactly. Continue with poses/dances until the song is over, then choose a new Cat. This helps kids pay attention to what other people are doing.
Tell your child: “This is game called Teach Me! I’m going to pretend I forgot how to do something. You will show me how you do that thing.” Then, you pretend to forget something that the child knows how to do. For example, you forget how to wash your hands, or put on your shoes, or how to get a cup of water. Make sure it is a simple task that your child will be able to show you in just a few steps.
fun idea for modeling activities
My plan for MODELING
Think about how you can use modeling at home.
Hooray! You've learned a new skill: Modeling
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