Defiance
What is it?
Disobedience is doing what you are told NOT to do, or NOT doing what you are told to do.
- The child breaks a well-established rule of staying in bed once a parent turns out the light by getting up and playing with toys
- A parent tells their child to get dressed for school, and the child does not do it
Defiance is open resistance to doing what you are told or boldly disobeying.
- A parent tells their child to get dressed for school, and the response is, ”NO!”
- A parent tells their child, “Don’t eat your brother’s tomatoes!” The child looks at them and does exactly what they’re told not to do.
Where do they get this from?
- When children are tired, hungry, thirsty, stressed, or in new situations, it is harder for them to think through their choices. They might be more disobedient during these times.
- Some children are naturally more independent and willful – they know what they want. These children are likely to disobey when they do not understand or agree with the rules.
- When children have so many rules and expectations, go through scary experiences, or have big changes in their lives, they can feel like they are losing control. These children might be defiant to gain control.
How can I use a skill?
Start with these skills first:
Learn how any skill can be used for Defiance
