Recovery

Using recovery for picking fights Recognize the behavior: Throws a ball at a child on the playground. Identify what you want to see: Playing nicely with other kids. Use the Skill: After the consequence, use your own calming skills. Then spend some time in calm or fun play until your child can talk about what […]

Hand-Over-Hand

Using hand-over-hand for picking fights Recognize the behavior: Throws a ball at a child on the playground. Identify what you want to see: Playing nicely with other kids. Use the Skill: This is not helpful in the moment if your child provokes another child. But, you might place your child’s hand in yours to teach […]

Effective Commands

Using effective commands for picking fights Recognize the behavior: Throws a ball at a child on the playground. Identify what you want to see: Playing nicely with other kids. Use the Skill: If your child starts to get upset, you might use a command like, “Please take a break to calm down.” or “Please keep […]

Consistent Consequences

Using consistent consequences for picking fights Recognize the behavior: Throws a ball at a child on the playground. Identify what you want to see: Playing nicely with other kids. Use the Skill: Possible praise: “You played so nicely with the other kids today!”  Possible negative consequence: leaving the playground, sitting on the bench with you […]

Redoing

Using a redo for picking fights Recognize the behavior: Throws a ball at a child on the playground. Identify what you want to see: Playing nicely with other kids. Use the Skill: You might say, “I know you’re angry, but it is not okay to throw balls at other kids. Try again nicely giving the […]

Modeling

Using modeling for picking fights Recognize the behavior: Throws a ball at a child on the playground. Identify what you want to see: Playing nicely with other kids. Use the Skill: Throughout the day and during play, model nice words, sharing, and taking turns.   Purpose: Modeling shows your child how to make good choices. You […]

Rules

Using rules for picking fights Recognize the behavior: Throws a ball at a child on the playground. Identify what you want to see: Playing nicely with other kids. Use the Skill: Try a rule like, “The rule is to be kind and gentle with other people. If you follow the rule, you can keep playing. […]

Choices

Using choices for picking fights Recognize the behavior: Throws a ball at a child on the playground. Identify what you want to see: Playing nicely with other kids. Use the Skill: Before playing, you could say, “You have two choices: you can play kindly with the other kids, or you can play by yourself.” Purpose: […]

When-Then/If-Then

Using when-then & if-then statements for picking fights Recognize the behavior: Throws a ball at a child on the playground. Identify what you want to see: Playing nicely with other kids. Use the Skill: Before arriving, let your child know what they should do. For example, “When you are kind to other kids, they will […]

Strategic Attention

Using strategic attention for picking fights Recognize the behavior: Throws a ball at a child on the playground. Identify what you want to see: Playing nicely with other kids. Use the Skill: Don’t ignore physical aggression. But, try to ignore yelling, blaming, or whining. Praise when your child is calm and tells you what happened. […]