Recovery

Using recovery for defiance Recognize the behavior: Refuses to leave a friend’s house when it’s time to go home. Identify what you want to see:  Saying goodbye and leaving the house. Use the Skill: You might say “I know listening is hard to do sometimes, but you helped your friend clean up and left with […]

Hand-Over-Hand

Using helping for defiance Recognize the behavior: Refuses to leave a friend’s house when it’s time to go home. Identify what you want to see:  Saying goodbye and leaving the house. Use the Skill: You might need to pick up a very young child and carry them away from a friend’s house. Remember to use […]

Effective Commands

Using effective commands for defiance Recognize the behavior: Refuses to leave a friend’s house when it’s time to go home. Identify what you want to see:  Saying goodbye and leaving the house. Use the Skill: You could give a command like, “Please start cleaning up the toys.” If they refuse to leave, you might say […]

Consistent Consequences

Using consistent consequences for defiance Recognize the behavior: Refuses to leave a friend’s house when it’s time to go home. Identify what you want to see:  Saying goodbye and leaving the house. Use the Skill: Possible praise: “Thank you for coming out right away!”  Possible negative consequence: losing a special treat or activity after leaving. […]

Redoing

Using a redo for defiance Recognize the behavior: Refuses to leave a friend’s house when it’s time to go home. Identify what you want to see:  Saying goodbye and leaving the house. Use the Skill: You could say, “Let’s redo. When you come out, then we will decide what to do next.” or, “Seems like […]

Modeling

Using modeling for defiance Recognize the behavior: Refuses to leave a friend’s house when it’s time to go home. Identify what you want to see:  Saying goodbye and leaving the house. Use the Skill: Talk out loud about what you are doing to get ready to go. You can talk about being sad and what […]

Rules

Using rules for defiance Recognize the behavior: Refuses to leave a friend’s house when it’s time to go home. Identify what you want to see:  Saying goodbye and leaving the house. Use the Skill: Try to set up a rule before going to the friend’s house. For example, “The rule for your friend’s house is […]

Choices

Using choices for defiance Recognize the behavior: Refuses to leave a friend’s house when it’s time to go home. Identify what you want to see:  Saying goodbye and leaving the house. Use the Skill: You might give choices about how to leave. For example, “You have two choices: you can say goodbye at the door […]

When-Then/If-Then

Using when-then & if-then statements for defiance Recognize the behavior: Refuses to leave a friend’s house when it’s time to go home. Identify what you want to see:  Saying goodbye and leaving the house. Use the Skill: Talk about what will happen after they listen. For example, “When we get in the car, you can […]

Strategic Attention

Using strategic attention for defiance Recognize the behavior: Refuses to leave a friend’s house when it’s time to go home. Identify what you want to see:  Saying goodbye and leaving the house. Use the Skill: Try to ignore whining or tantrums about leaving. Attend to leaving behaviors, like picking up toys, putting on shoes, or […]