Hand-Over-Hand

Using helping for frustration tolerance Recognize what you want to see: Sticking with it, staying calm, coming up with new ideas, trying again. Use the skill: If your child is struggling to draw something, you could offer to help them. Then, gently hold their hand on the pencil while you draw. Purpose:Children get frustrated. First, […]

Effective Commands

Using effective commands for frustration tolerance Recognize what you want to see: Sticking with it, staying calm, coming up with new ideas, trying again. Use the skill: This skill is generally not helpful for this goal. Try to avoid commands when your child is getting frustrated. Purpose:Receiving a command is frustrating for children. So, it […]

Consistent Consequences

Using consistent consequences for frustration tolerance Recognize what you want to see: Sticking with it, staying calm, coming up with new ideas, trying again. Use the skill: Possible praise: “Nice job sticking with it.”  Possible negative consequence: remove the frustrating toy or activity, or have the child take a break to calm down Purpose:Children should […]

Redoing

Using a redo for frustration tolerance Recognize what you want to see: Sticking with it, staying calm, coming up with new ideas, trying again. Use the skill: You might say, “You did a great job calming down with me. Now, are you ready to try making that building again?” Purpose:A redo can be a great […]

Modeling

Using modeling for frustration tolerance Recognize what you want to see: Sticking with it, staying calm, coming up with new ideas, trying again. Use the skill: Talk about how you handle frustration. For example, “My picture didn’t turn out the way I wanted it to. I’m pretty upset but I know I can try again.” […]

Rules

Using rules for frustration tolerance Recognize what you want to see: Sticking with it, staying calm, coming up with new ideas, trying again. Use the skill: Try a rule like, “It is OK to be angry, but the rule is to treat your toys with respect all the time. If you play gently and nicely […]

Choices

Using choicesfor frustration tolerance Recognize what you want to see: Sticking with it, staying calm, coming up with new ideas, trying again. Use the skill: Try giving choices of calming skills. For example, “Looks like this is getting frustrating. You can take 2 deep breaths and try again or you can take a 3 minute […]

When-Then/If-Then

Using when-then & if-then statements for frustration tolerance Recognize what you want to see: Sticking with it, staying calm, coming up with new ideas, trying again. Use the skill: Show your child the benefit of trying again. For example, “When you calmed down, you figured it out!” “When you try something new, it can turn […]

Strategic Attention

Using strategic attention for frustration tolerance Recognize what you want to see: Sticking with it, staying calm, coming up with new ideas, trying again. Use the skill: Try to ignore grumbling or talk of giving up. Describe whatever they do on the task, and praise when they try again or stay calm. Purpose:It is good […]

Redirect

Using redirect for frustration tolerance Recognize what you want to see: Sticking with it, staying calm, coming up with new ideas, trying again. Use the skill: Imagine your child gets very frustrated. Get excited about something else your child really likes. Do that for awhile. Then go back to the first activity. Purpose:Frustration is normal! […]