Strategic Attention

Using strategic attention for picking fights Recognize the behavior: Throws a ball at a child on the playground. Identify what you want to see: Playing nicely with other kids. Use the Skill: Don’t ignore physical aggression. But, try to ignore yelling, blaming, or whining. Praise when your child is calm and tells you what happened. […]

Redirect

Using redirect for picking fights Recognize the behavior: Throws a ball at a child on the playground. Identify what you want to see: Playing nicely with other kids. Use the Skill: If you notice your child getting angry, offer a snack or drink, point out another really fun activity, or help them use a calming […]

Adjust the Environment

Using adjust the environment for picking fights Recognize the behavior: Throws a ball at a child on the playground. Identify what you want to see: Playing nicely with other kids. Use the Skill: You could put away the balls for awhile. Or, make sure your child isn’t hungry, tired, thirsty, or angry when you go […]

Transitions

Using transitions for picking fights Recognize the behavior: Throws a ball at a child on the playground. Identify what you want to see: Playing nicely with other kids. Use the Skill: Imagine your child throws the ball when it is time to leave. In that case, try giving a 5 minute transition warning or saying […]

Recovery

Using recovery for carelessness Recognize the behavior: Drops your phone. Identify what you want to see: Carefully holding your phone. Use the Skill: You might need to take the phone away. Then focus on what they’re doing well. Wait to talk about the phone until you are both calm. Then talk about how to care […]

Helping

Using helping for carelessness Recognize the behavior: Drops your phone. Identify what you want to see: Carefully holding your phone. Use the Skill: For young children, you might need to hold their hands in yours while you hold the phone.  Purpose: You can use helping to teach your child how to do something carefully. In […]

Effective Commands

Using effective commands for carelessness Recognize the behavior: Drops your phone. Identify what you want to see: Carefully holding your phone. Use the Skill: Tell your child exactly how to be careful. For example, “Please use two hands to hold the phone.” Purpose: Effective commands tell your child that something needs to be done right […]

Consistent Consequences

Using consistent consequences for carelessness Recognize the behavior: Drops your phone. Identify what you want to see: Carefully holding your phone. Use the Skill: Possible praise: “Thank you for being careful with my phone.”  Possible negative consequence: putting the phone away or attaching a strap to your child’s wrist. Purpose: Consistent consequences are only for […]

Redoing

Using a redo for carelessness Recognize the behavior: Drops your phone. Identify what you want to see: Carefully holding your phone. Use the Skill: You might say, “Oops, the phone fell. You can try again. As long as you hold it carefully, you can keep playing.” Purpose: A redo gives children a chance to do […]

Modeling

Using modeling for carelessness Recognize the behavior: Drops your phone. Identify what you want to see: Carefully holding your phone. Use the Skill: Hold your phone the way you want your child to. You can also say out loud what you do to be careful. Purpose: Modeling shows your child how to make good choices. […]