Transitions

Using transitions for screaming Recognize the behavior: Throws a loud tantrum. Identify what you want to see: Using strategies to calm down when upset. Use the Skill: Try transitions before a difficult activity. For example, “In five minutes it’s bedtime.” “After this page, it’s time for dinner.” Purpose: Transitions help children move from one activity […]
Recovery

Using recovery for picking fights Recognize the behavior: Throws a ball at a child on the playground. Identify what you want to see: Playing nicely with other kids. Use the Skill: After the consequence, use your own calming skills. Then spend some time in calm or fun play until your child can talk about what […]
Helping

Using helping for picking fights Recognize the behavior: Throws a ball at a child on the playground. Identify what you want to see: Playing nicely with other kids. Use the Skill: Helping is difficult in the moment. But, you might help your child learn how to roll a ball gently. Purpose: Helping is most useful […]
Effective Commands

Using effective commands for picking fights Recognize the behavior: Throws a ball at a child on the playground. Identify what you want to see: Playing nicely with other kids. Use the Skill: If your child starts to get upset, you might use a command like, “Please take a break to calm down.” or “Please keep […]
Consistent Consequences

Using consistent consequences for picking fights Recognize the behavior: Throws a ball at a child on the playground. Identify what you want to see: Playing nicely with other kids. Use the Skill: Possible praise: “You played so nicely with the other kids today!” Possible negative consequence: leaving the playground, sitting on the bench with you […]
Redoing

Using a redo for picking fights Recognize the behavior: Throws a ball at a child on the playground. Identify what you want to see: Playing nicely with other kids. Use the Skill: You might say, “I know you’re angry, but it is not okay to throw balls at other kids. Try again nicely giving the […]
Modeling

Using modeling for picking fights Recognize the behavior: Throws a ball at a child on the playground. Identify what you want to see: Playing nicely with other kids. Use the Skill: Throughout the day and during play, model nice words, sharing, and taking turns. Purpose: Modeling shows your child how to make good choices. You […]
Rules

Using rules for picking fights Recognize the behavior: Throws a ball at a child on the playground. Identify what you want to see: Playing nicely with other kids. Use the Skill: Try a rule like, “The rule is to be kind and gentle with other people. If you follow the rule, you can keep playing. […]
Choices

Using choices for picking fights Recognize the behavior: Throws a ball at a child on the playground. Identify what you want to see: Playing nicely with other kids. Use the Skill: Before playing, you could say, “You have two choices: you can play kindly with the other kids, or you can play by yourself.” Purpose: […]
When-Then/If-Then

Using when-then & if-then statements for picking fights Recognize the behavior: Throws a ball at a child on the playground. Identify what you want to see: Playing nicely with other kids. Use the Skill: Before arriving, let your child know what they should do. For example, “When you are kind to other kids, they will […]