Choices

Using choices for picking fights Recognize the behavior: Throws a ball at a child on the playground. Identify what you want to see: Playing nicely with other kids. Use the Skill: Before playing, you could say, “You have two choices: you can play kindly with the other kids, or you can play by yourself.” Purpose: […]

When-Then/If-Then

Using when-then & if-then statements for picking fights Recognize the behavior: Throws a ball at a child on the playground. Identify what you want to see: Playing nicely with other kids. Use the Skill: Before arriving, let your child know what they should do. For example, “When you are kind to other kids, they will […]

Strategic Attention

Using strategic attention for picking fights Recognize the behavior: Throws a ball at a child on the playground. Identify what you want to see: Playing nicely with other kids. Use the Skill: Don’t ignore physical aggression. But, try to ignore yelling, blaming, or whining. Praise when your child is calm and tells you what happened. […]

Redirect

Using redirect for picking fights Recognize the behavior: Throws a ball at a child on the playground. Identify what you want to see: Playing nicely with other kids. Use the Skill: If you notice your child getting angry, offer a snack or drink, point out another really fun activity, or help them use a calming […]

Adjust the Environment

Using adjust the environment for picking fights Recognize the behavior: Throws a ball at a child on the playground. Identify what you want to see: Playing nicely with other kids. Use the Skill: You could put away the balls for awhile. Or, make sure your child isn’t hungry, tired, thirsty, or angry when you go […]

Transitions

Using transitions for picking fights Recognize the behavior: Throws a ball at a child on the playground. Identify what you want to see: Playing nicely with other kids. Use the Skill: Imagine your child throws the ball when it is time to leave. In that case, try giving a 5 minute transition warning or saying […]

Recovery

Using recovery for carelessness Recognize the behavior: Drops your phone. Identify what you want to see: Carefully holding your phone. Use the Skill: You might need to take the phone away. Then focus on what they’re doing well. Wait to talk about the phone until you are both calm. Then talk about how to care […]

Hand-Over-Hand

Using hand-over-hand for carelessness Recognize the behavior: Drops your phone. Identify what you want to see: Carefully holding your phone. Use the Skill: For young children, you might need to hold their hands in yours while you hold the phone.  Purpose: Hand-over-hand helps young children learn how to complete a task. You can use it […]

Effective Commands

Using effective commands for carelessness Recognize the behavior: Drops your phone. Identify what you want to see: Carefully holding your phone. Use the Skill: Tell your child exactly how to be careful. For example, “Please use two hands to hold the phone.” Purpose: Effective commands tell your child that something needs to be done right […]

Consistent Consequences

Using consistent consequences for carelessness Recognize the behavior: Drops your phone. Identify what you want to see: Carefully holding your phone. Use the Skill: Possible praise: “Thank you for being careful with my phone.”  Possible negative consequence: putting the phone away or attaching a strap to your child’s wrist. Purpose: Consistent consequences are only for […]