Welcome to our Lesson on labeling feelings
- In this section, you will learn
- What labeling feelings means
- Why labeling feelings is important
- How to practice labeling feelings
What is labeling feelings?
Why is labeling feelings important?
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Have you ever done something then thought, “I have no idea what I was thinking?” You likely acted out of feelings you didn’t label.
When we have strong emotions, they can seem like the only thing that is real. We do things to lessen the emotion without thinking through the consequences.
When we label our feelings, they become less powerful. We can see that we want to throw something because we are angry. Then we can choose to do something else instead.
We cannot control what we feel, only what we do. It is ok to be sad, angry, embarrassed, and happy, sometimes all at the same time.
When you label your feelings, it shows your child that feelings are normal. It also makes them more likely to tell you how they are feeling and go to you for support.
What does labeling feelings sound like?
- I’m really frustrated right now.
- You look so happy.
- That movie made me sad.
- It seems like it made you upset when I got home late.
- I was scared when I turned around and you weren’t there.
- I’m excited for the park! It looks like you’re excited too.
- Seems like you’re feeling really annoyed with your brother today.
when should I label feelings?
- All the time!
- There is no right or wrong time to label feelings. We have feelings all the time.
- Label your own feelings as you model a calm skill. This teaches your child that it’s ok to be angry, sad, afraid, etc. and teaches them what to do to manage those feelings.
- Label your child’s feelings when you see their emotions changing. Let them correct you if you're wrong.
Pay attention to your words
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Try to use phrases like “it seems like you’re…” or “looks like you’re…” Let your child correct you. If they say “no, I’m annoyed,” reflect back “you’re annoyed.”
Don’t say things like “you shouldn’t be so sad,” “you have no right to be angry,” or “you should be happy about this.” It is invalidating and hurts your relationship.
Instead, label your own feelings so you can better understand and talk about your concerns. Reflect your child’s feelings. Let them explain why they feel the way they do. Then practice calm skills together or separately before continuing your conversation.
How many feelings are there?
So many! Here are just a few:
- Whoa! That's a lot of feelings.
Fun with labeling feelings
Try these fun games to practice labeling feelings with your child.
Feelings charades
Write as many feelings as you can on small pieces of paper. Put them in a bowl. Choose a feeling and try to get your partner to guess what it is.
My day
Each person answers the following questions about their day. What made you..
happy or excited?
sad or upset?
afraid or worried?
angry or annoyed?
Emoji game
Describe a situation (for example, you see your best friend). Your partner chooses 1-4 emojis that show how they would feel in the situation. Then you guess the feeling based on the emojis.
if you're feeling & you know it
Sing “If You’re Happy and You Know It,” but each time choose a new feeling and response. For example, “if you’re sad you know it, wipe your tears.”
Resources for labeling feelings
Select Below
Additional Resources
Apps that can help with labeling feelings:
Emotionary
MyLife
Mood Meter
Hooray! You've learned a new skill: Labeling Feelings
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